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I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann. I need a fake passport, preferably to France… I like the way they think. So, what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here. What's Kama Sutra oil? Maybe it's not for us. Did Ted make an appointment? No. Well, then Ted can GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS OFFICE! YOU GET THE HELL OUT! I need a fake passport, preferably to France…I like the way they think. Taste the happy, Michael! Taste it! I made a huge tiny mistake. I'm a complete failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper.

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Oh, yes, there absolutely will be a margarita made in my mouth. Heyyyyy, hermano. Hey, if I can't find a horny immigrant by then, I don't deserve to stay. And that is why Jesus was often referred to as the King of Kings. Queens. The King of Queens. Hey, look at that – you're mean sober, too. Oh please. They didn't sneak into this country to be your friends. I may have committed some light treason.

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Chickens don't clap! I've been in the film business for a while but I just can't seem to get one in the can. Even it means me taking a chubby… I will suck it up.

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What a fun, sexy time for you. You go buy a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. I think you'll be surprised at some of your phrasing.

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